First thing this morning, I woke up and rolled over. The insides of my brain violently rolled with me and kept spinning. Picture the spinning world of a black out drunk only while sober. That begins to describe the hell of BPPV. AKA Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV). I wish it had an easier name. One that rolled off the tongue as easily as your eyes roll out of focus and into the back of your head.
My first thought was “I’m awake.” My second thought after rolling over was “OMG 2021 says welcome with BPPV? I am NOT starting 2021 with BPPV.” I held still and my brain roiled and crashed waves of movement to the right, to the right, to the right. My stomach started to heave with rising bile. I squeezed my eyes shut.
NOOOOOOooooo! I bellowed and begged the universe. 2021 cannot start with a misaligned crystal imbalance causing violent sea sickness without the sea. I shuttered my eyes even tighter. I felt nauseous. I felt sick. I held still until I fell back asleep.
2021 was not supposed to begin this way. 2020 was so far beyond awful, it will live in human history as one of human’s worst years. At least until the living die and next generations forget. Some will even say it didn’t happen. As if. Never has truth been turned upside down so quickly and resolutely. People genuinely believe facts are lies and lies are a nonsense called alternative facts.
The second time I woke in 2021, I felt fine. I slowly turned my head and waited for the world to toss to the right. Thank God it didn’t. My BPPV seemed to have resided. My mind turns back to hope. 2021 will be better than 2020. The alternative is unthinkable. If 2021 says hold my beer, we’re done for.
“1984” unfurled in 2020 right before our eyes. It was horrible. On the other hand, we survived. Not everyone made it to 2021, but those who did will never forget the difference between 2019 and 2020. Many hope for a return to life as it was in 2019 while others doubt that can ever happen again. Most fear for our future and our children.
But 2021 is not going to be worse. It was just having a little fun with us. A tease. Like poking at a sore to make it hurt less. 2021 is going to be better than last year. Afterall, we burned that dumpster and it’s gone.